[Email of the Week #30]: Shinesty (special COVID-19 edition)

By Chris Orzechowski

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This might be the best COVID-19 email you see all quarantine.

I promise you that.

I got an Email of the Week submission today from my buddy, Bailey Rogg.

In addition to being an up and coming email copywriter, Bailey is an email hawk. He always has his eye out for incredible emails… and he usually finds good ones.

Well, the one he sent me was so good… I knew I had to break it down the moment I saw it.

Here’s the context:

Right now, the coronavirus is fucking up everyone’s shit.

As a result, every single company in the world is scrambling to get an email out to their list about how they’re dealing with the virus.

 

Most of these emails are all doom and gloom.

Most are NOT inspiring confidence.

Here’s the way I see things though:

  1. The economy was screaming before the virus. The moment the virus is gone… it’s going to skyrocket to the fucking moon.
  2. People still have money. And now… they have nothing to do and can’t leave their house. If this isn’t the great opportunity for online marketers we’ve ever seen… I don’t know what is.
  3. People will never stop buying stuff. If they can’t spend it at a retail store, they WILL spend it online.
  4. It’s Day 7 of the Orzechowski family quarantine. By day 20… people are going to buying new stuff on a DAILY basis to stave off boredom, especially now that there’s no sports, concerts, gatherings, happy hours, etc.

I know things are a little touch and go at the moment, but you have to think about this logically for a second. There really are only TWO possibilities for what the future might hold:

Possibility A: society crumbles and will look like Mad Max-esque hellscape where we’re killing each other for bottles of water and everyone dies in the end.

Or…

Possibility B: the economy takes a dip for a hot minute. People adapt (as they have for literally millions of fucking years)… new businesses emerge, people change the way they live for a while… and in 6-8 months everyone is right back where they were before.

Personally?

I’m finding it hard to believe this is the end of the world.

I’d bet my life savings on the fact that in a few months, life will resume as it was before.

So chill the fuck out, everyone. We’re going to be fine.

Anyway…

Some companies are freaking out in their COVID-19 emails… but there’s a handful of companies who are taking a more level-headed approach.

And while everyone is tip-toeing around the issue, some companies like Shinesty are fighting it head-on… with humor.

This email from Shinesty is pure gold. I PROMISE it’s the best COVID-19 email you’ll ever see.

Please make sure you’re not drinking anything while reading, liquid WILL come out your nose.

It’s fucking great.

I don’t wanna drag out this preamble… this email is so damn tasty I just wanna sink my teeth into it already.

So…

Without further ado…

Let’s dive into this week’s Email of the Week!

This is the 30th installment of my Email of the Week series. (Catch up on previous episodes here.)

And in case you’re new around here, here’s how this all works…

The Rules For Email Of The Week

Each week, I go out into the wild to find a super-effective e-commerce marketing email… and I break down what made it work. My goal is for you to tune in each week, so I can teach you strategies and best practices YOU can use to make your own emails better.

I find these emails in my inbox, but I also accept suggestions from readers who have a remarkable email they’d like to share.

If you recently received an email that was so awesome it made your jaw drop, I wanna see it.

Forward it to me (chris at theemailcopywriter dot com) with a brief message about what you liked about it. If I choose to do a breakdown of the email you sent, I’ll give you a shout out and link to your site.

The only rule is… you can’t pick yourself.

Now then, without further ado, let’s check out the Email of the Week!

This is NO time for Rusty Trombones, people…

If I were to give an award to a company that had the funniest team of writers, I might have to give it to Shinesty.

Their writers are SERIOUSLY talented. And they’re funny as shit.

Now, it’s always best practice to try and write your copy in a way that stands out in the inbox. But during a time like this that we’re in… this advice still holds true.

Take a look at how Shinesty created the best COVID-19 email of all time.

Subject line: we have to address this.

I love the seriousness of this subject line, considering the hilarity that ensues in the body.

Plus… the period just adds effect.

All lowercase, so you got a big thumbs up from me.

Great start, Shinesty.

 

The fact that they used a roll of toilet paper for their hero image… just bravo.

I’m not always a fan of header images… but in this case, it’s the most perfect use of an effective hero I’ve ever seen.

That first paragraph of copy is awesome. It starts off serious and somber… just like every other COVID-19 email you’ve seen.

Then…

 

The first bullet is priceless. Poor IT guy. lmao

Second bullet inserts the “important, but boring shit we’re obligated to say by our legal team.”

Third bullet: I can’t help but audibly laugh as I’m typing this. I’m dying laughing.

Fired IMMEDIATELY. And the fact that they included darrell@shinesty.com is no longer active… that’s just the cherry on top.

I seriously wanna hire their writers to teach me how to write like this. I’m still laughing at this. ( I warned you not to drink anything as you’re reading!)

Fourth bullet: imagining their team rubbing their hands with bleach is continuing my fit of laughter.

My god…

If ALL they did in this email was list these 4 bullets, I’d still nominate them for best COVID-19 email of all time.

But, they don’t stop there…

These bullets are pure gold, too.

I LOVE how they’re not selling from their heels. They’re NOT trying to soften the blow. They’re not ‘scared’ of selling when times are tough.

Hey, ya know what?

Shinesty is a business, too.

THEY TOO have employees who need paychecks. Those people gotta keep food on their freshly-bleached table.

I fucking love this.

Shinesty is a shining example of how companies SHOULD be approaching selling in a time like this.

Plus… the e-commerce sector is going to see some of it’s biggest growth of all time when all this is said and done. People are going to fall in love with brands like Shinesty and they’ll keep buying long after the virus is gone… MAINLY BECAUSE of emails like this one.

It’s great salesmanship… and the copy is funny as all hell.

Let’s keep going…

 

Do I even need to add commentary?

I’m ROLLING.

“If you see one with a ball gag it’s a dead giveaway it’s a fake.”

I mean… specific details are always a best practice with any kind of copy you’re writing. But In the context of comedic writing, it becomes even more important. That line wouldn’t have hit as hard without that specific detail.

So great.

 

While other companies are encouraging people to wash their hands and refrain from traveling… Shinesty is reminding you not to eat ass, because of the TP shortage.

I mean…

How do you not give this company your money?

I’m going to buy something from them after this.

Their brand is awesome, the writers crack me up. I don’t even know what they have in their store… but I want to give them money.

THIS is very important – your brand can have this effect on people IF you write better copy.

 

Poor Nickleback. Has any band ever gotten more shit from society? I hope those guys made bank and just don’t give a fuck about all the shit they get.

The last paragraph is nice.

It does come back to a more serious, realistic tone. But it lets you know that they ARE open for business… and they WILL accept your money if you wanna shop.

On a scale from 1-10… I give this email a 1,000.

Absolute perfection. I wouldn’t change a god damn thing.

Oh wait, almost forgot…

One last section below the signature:

The stock photo WITH the watermarks.

I can’t.

I fucking can’t with these guys hahaha.

My god… I’ve never been more excited to get more emails from a company.

A+++++++ Shinesty.

You guys are killing it.

Keep it up.

Special Shout Out to Bailey Rogg!

Bailey is probably my favorite up and coming copywriter.

Seriously, get on his list at https://www.thecopyoperator.com/  – I think he’s going to be a ‘somebody’ very soon, in this industry.

Here’s what Bailey said about this email:

Hey Chris,

I’m going to keep sending you these, even if you never accept them.

Still probably too “inappropriate” for EOTW, but I actually think it balances seriousness and branding for their COVID-19 response.

So if your EOTW this week is about COVID-19 responses. I think this is a contender.
Bailey
Bailey… I will publish ANY email you ever send me if it makes me laugh like this one did. You are the man… and THANK YOU!

Big Takeaways from Shinesty’s COVID-19 Email

1. Don’t be afraid to be funny.
2. Specific details are super important when you’re writing funny.
3. Take unexpected twists and turns with your jokes… the punch line shouldn’t be that obvious.
4. Sell sell sell… you still have to help YOUR employees put food on the table.
5. Position your e-commerce company against all other options – like shopping retail.
6. Demonstrate how customers can use your products.
7. Dimensionalize the benefits of your products in your emails.
8. Lowercase your subject lines.
9. Use your hero image space wisely.
10. Pace and lead your readers throughout your copy.

What You Should Do Next

  1. Subscribe to my email list so you can get ALL of the Emails of the Week delivered straight to your inbox, automatically.
  2. Leave a comment for me below and let me know what you liked about this email.
  3. Send this breakdown to someone you know who has a physical product business. You might give them some inspiration to write an awesome COVID-19 email.
  4. Buy something from Shinesty. At the very least, get on their list. They are AWESOME.

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